While German shepherds are quite an intelligent breed of dog, they do have some noticeable blind spots, as the dog recently proved. Sound asleep on the floor beside me, a muzzle lifted, sniffed and was propelled forward by a suddenly very awake dog. While I could be forgiven for looking around for the packet of dog treats my mother had brought over earlier, and perhaps left within the sniff zone, I soon realised the object of his interest was actually a plastic bag containing a block of soap, scented with rather girly essential oil smells, that I’d just put down on the coffee table. Soap, the dog assured me, his nose deep in the bag as his teeth delicately attempted his own special version of shoplifting, is definitely in the canine food chain.
Somewhat skeptical, I enquired as to whether soap came before or after rocks and plastic meat trays on a scale of desirability. While he was thinking about this, I quietly removed the soap, storing it in a cupboard he hasn’t learned to open yet.


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    A word from the Alpha Bitch

    Okay, I admit it – while I might scoff at dog owners who treat their Poopsies or Schnookums like babies, my dogs also think my name is Mum. I’d like to believe, however, that my dogs also know me as The Alpha Bitch, more commonly known in canine as “the bitch who must be obeyed, dogdammit!” - The AB


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